Koru Couples Counselling

• CERTIFIED in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) for couples
• It’s just me! I respond to you and work with you personally!
• EFT Supervisor-in-Training
• Master of Social Work
• Registered Social Worker
• Over 25 years of experience
• Specializes in couples and marriage counselling (helped 100’s of diverse couples)
• Individual counselling
• Serving Kitchener, Waterloo, Guelph  & Cambridge
• Welcomes diversity 

Whether you're trying to work through the impact of an affair, have become like roommates, or feel like you're constantly failing in the eyes of your partner, I can help you to heal and connect. If you feel like you have the same argument over and over, I can support you to find your way out of the loop and into mutual safety, security and intimacy. Even if you're just getting started in your relationship or planning to get married, EFT couples therapy will guide you towards the best beginning possible!

I will help you to feel safe so that you can open up and share what's really going on underneath all the frustration and disconnection. I will assist you to be more aware of what's happening within yourselves as well as what's happening between you. Sex can get better too because when you feel safe, you can play!

We all fight about the same things: parenting, sex, money, jobs around the house, in-laws, etc. but what really matters is how we fight. The research clearly demonstrates that getting caught up in the content of fights is what gets us stuck in never-ending loops whereas learning to explore the feelings that are experienced and expressed when we fight helps us to connect. EFT provides me with a structure for sessions so I can help you to understand how you are getting stuck in your relationship as well as learn how to talk about problems in a new way that draws you closer together.

"Vulnerability defined as being "open to attack" or "weakness" is too limiting. It is more than just the dark emotions like fear, shame, grief, sadness and disappointment. Vulnerability is the core of all emotions and feelings. It is the birthplace of love, belonging, joy, courage, empathy and creativity."~ Brene Brown

As depicted above, the Koru (Maori for "loop") is a spiral based on the shape of a new unfurling fern frond and symbolizing new life, growth, strength and peace. The circular shape of the Koru helps to convey the idea of perpetual movement while the inner coil suggests a return to the point of origin. 

What to Expect...

The three of us will meet for one session altogether first. Then, I will meet with each of you once individually to get a little more family and relationship history.  Then, we will meet altogether again and discuss whether  couples counselling is the best option for you at this time.  If it is, we will go over a plan for our ongoing work together and what else you can expect.

On a personal note... 

I love to learn about human connection and grow as a person. I enjoy riding bikes with my husband Matthew and walking our dog Charlie. I look forward to small gatherings with our two adult children, Joshua and Natalie, and other extended family and friends.

I am also trained in EFIT which stands for Emotionally Focused Individual Therapy. I work with  individuals who want to improve their couple relationships but their partners aren't ready to attend counselling. This is a relationship-friendly form of individual counselling.

EFT CONSULTATION

Are you looking to learn more about EFT? Are you on the certification path? I provide EFT consultation services and would be happy to work with you. Please contact me to discuss this further. 

To love and be loved is to feel the sun from both sides.

~ David Viscott

Myths and Realities  (www.ruthjampolphd.com blog)

1.    The therapist will take sides.

An Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist functions as a process consultant and is trained to recognize how both partners contribute to their dance of anger or disconnection.

2.    The therapist will tell us we should break up. 

The role of an EFT Therapist is to help couples understand how their relationship has gone wrong and to guide them – for as long as they are willing to try – in how to repair it.

3.   We are too far gone; the situation is hopeless.

Even long-standing problems can be resolved with EFT therapy. The only clear sign that EFT therapy won’t help is if one or both partners have become so disengaged they are no longer willing to try.

4.   Talking about our problems will make things worse.

Many couples have experienced that their own attempts to talk about their problems have made things worse, so this concern is understandable.  An EFT Therapist is trained to create a safe space where problems can be discussed productively, opening the door to healing and reconciliation.

5.   Couples therapy is a waste of time and does not work.

Many therapists who see couples aren’t trained in an effective model of couples therapy and research has shown there is significant risk that these therapists will not be helpful.  A therapist trained in EFT is guided by a roadmap that has years of research demonstrating its effectiveness in helping distressed couples, even years after therapy has ended.

6.   We need individual therapy first.

A growing body of evidence suggests that successful couples therapy can actually reduce an individual’s symptoms related to depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress, addictions, and chronic illness. At the very least, a stronger, more supportive relationship will reduce the suffering both partners experience when one is struggling with a psychological disorder. Couples therapy may not be the only treatment needed when a partner has significant psychological symptoms, but when the relationship has suffered, it is often the best place to start.  This helps partners to join hands in working together on the challenges they are facing individually.